Akai ito 赤い糸
A back and forth story
Akai ito was the whisper I heard that morning before waking up early to help in the fields. That was our duty when our lord did not need our services and for the past few years luckily we had not been called. One would think that once you find that in which you are truly good, you will happily devote your life to it. But, in my case, the very center of what I had learned to master was something that could bring sudden ends to others. That was the kind of maestry that I had inherited. My father and all my brothers, sons, cousins and the whole village enjoyed peace and wealth due to our skills but they didn’t come without a price.
The zone had enjoyed peace for a long time and we had developed great relations with the village next to ours. It belonged to a brother clan, the Murasaki 氏 dojo who had been an ally and also joined us for spring celebrations. Every year, out of their most skilled swordsmen, one was picked to perform a perfect match with our best swordsman. For the last 7 years Haio and I had had beautiful ceremonial encounters with our swords. The rules were clear, only a single hair could be chopped from the rival and that would mean the end of the fight.
Last year he had almost beat me for a fraction of a second, but my sword had been faster again. But this year he might beat me. The only existence of Haio pushed me to find ways of improving my skills. So every morning I would go to the forest and listen carefully to the wind for the ways of our ancestors.
We as village had enough gold to bought our food on other smaller villages, but the love and care that all of us put in the sawing that would latter feed our swordsman was part of our pride and also part of the secrets that our ancestors had pass to us over the more than 300 hundred years of our house foundation.
The first white cranes announced the end of winter and the beginning of sweet fruits and celebrations. The women would prepare the best dishes and our best ceremonial garments for the upcoming gathering with our most important rivals and brothers from house Murasaki.
In the evening of the second day of preparation a horse came riding at full speed with the colors of our master. I thought that a major celebration could be held in the castle of our lord since, as we all knew, his family was in the search for a husband for her daughter. So I went straight to the encounter with the rider.
“Welcome honorable messenger, please come with me to the main temple to have tea and discuss the important matters that for sure bring you with such hurry,” I said since it was my duty to receive the visitors, specially those coming for the lord of our lands.
“アリガトウ,” said the man getting off his horse and following me to the main building.
Once we were at the great hall, we sat in front of a huge jade statue of Kwan YIn and served tea. All the best traits were also placed to honor our guest.
“Apologize for not having more sweet potatoes, but you arrived early this year,” I said as a joke due to the huge amount of food served to our guest and seeing that he was not eating anything.
“It’s not that, ゴメンナサイ, I apologize,” said the messenger and took a sip of tea to clear his throat.
“I guess that’s not very good news then, messenger.”
“ハイ, not very good news indeed,” said the messenger and put his head down. “I really sorry about what I am about to tell you Akuサン,” he said and stop like if an invisible power or ancestral desire was holding his words up.
It was not the first time that the messenger has come to our village. Usually news was not the best, especially if they were given before our most important celebration. Not only our ancestors would not be happy this year but neither our fields and mothers. No one enjoyed war, not even our house, that had been funded by the power of the sword.
“You can tell me, messenger. I know for sure that a battle is upon us and that my services will be summoned. Be sure that all of us in the proper condition of yielding a sword will answer, as that is the way of our house.”
“I know my シミン but this time is different. This time it is even harder for me to ask you to go to battle because the lord of Adu has declared war on our lord. This happened yesterday during a celebration in the castle due to our lord rejecting a marriage proposal for his daughter and…,” he kept talking but my soul left my body at that moment.
I had been in many battles before, took the life of more than 300 men, all of them warriors, and I was not only perfectly trained to do it so, but also honored to fulfill my duty as head of our house. But this order implied deliberately to go to battle against my most respected and close friend since I was a child. I was being ordered to kill my brother and his brothers.
“Im sorry, I truly am,” said the messenger making a reverence to me and to the other members of the council that were there with us in the hall. Then he stood up and made a reverence to Kwan YIn.
“Honor bounds me, so said our lord I have been informed,” I expressed talking from a rigid chest and an even more rigid mind.
I was a samurai and my first command was to use my sword to honor my lord, who was a direct line to the emperor, son of the sun and sent by god to guide our way. My village honor, prosperity and survival was bound to the oath that all samurai take when a sword is placed upon his guide. My destiny was set but I would do it on my terms.
“Messenger, said the lord that I would proceed with his orders but our house is one of samurai not slaughters so we-ll only fight warriors; no children nor women are going to be harmed. It is not our way to wipe houses away, and he can have my word that they won’t represent a danger after our encounter.”
“I will transmit this message clearly to our lord.”
That night we prayed to our goddess and all our lamps were on so they would attract as many ancestors as we could to our aid. It was not the skills of our house I was worried about. I asked for guidance for everyone going to battle tomorrow, since the wounds that we inflict on our brothers run in us deeper than swords and can kill not a man’s body but his soul.
“Aren’t you sleeping tonight?,”asked Usami.
“Cant my love.”
“You know, I learned how to cast the shadows away every time you were to battle. I know that we always prepare our way to the spirit world long before we die. And I never felt it before. And even though this might not be your last battle, I can somehow feel you leaving.”
“I know you know more than what you say. In fact I know you know that between us there is no need for words. But I died the moment I was given that order.
“Then let’s spend the night together since it might be the last.”
“I will come back to you, but first I have to say goodbye to my brother.”
I walked like a shadow, covered by the red glimpses of a newborn moon.
“Everyone knows that red moons at rising brings ends in blood,” I thought to myself. And I knew that everything under the sky is connected and knows about every direction that things are going to take. I coursed my path and almost course my house and the 武士道. Was it worth living a life where I was bound to do what I was about to do? “Some of the gods make us play their games, letting us think that for a moment we are free and we can have it all,” I said to the night and the goddess listening. And even she could listen.
I arrived and sat on the same rock as always, facing the pond, seeking for clarity. Suddenly I felt the cold of sharp steel on my neck and knew that he had arrived.
“You know that you could be dead if my name was different and if I would not know better. I could blame the lack of light or a hunting mistake.”
“I wouldn’t blame you for doing it. You will free me of a huge burden, my dearest friend.”
“I wonder if the goddess forgot us?,” said Haio sitting next to me, putting his sword away. “We might have made them angry and now we are paying the price,” said, convinced of his words.
“I have thought about that for a while now, but I feel that we are just caught in a stupid human game; and bound by oaths to give some meaning to it.”
I started weeping in silence since it would have been so much easier to depart by his knife that lived to the next day.
“You, as I, my brother, we have inherited the secrets to katana mastery and this, as you knew from the very first moment you laid your hands on your sword, had a price.”
“I don’t want to do this,” I said, with a broken voice.
“We have no choice”
“Of course we have. We leave these lands, your house and mine will follow and we have almost a hundred warriors and skilled and strong women; we’ll find some other place.”
“As ronins? Who do you think will take in two rebel houses of samurais who have defied their former masters orders? Besides, we are in the middle of the land. Even if we could move we would have to go through at least 100 houses that would chase not only us but our families, wives, children and elders. Both of our houses would perish and also our ancestors’ history would be wiped out.”
“I have a feeling that sooner or later this will all come to an end, and that all the things that we now stand for now will disappear in a purple dust.”
“Purple dust?,”he laughed. “Are you eating too much wasabi again my friend?.”
“Laught, but I ve heard it in the wind. I know this as I know that we both will see the sun from another land somewhere far from here.”
“You know that won’t be possible after tomorrow,” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder and looking straight to the pond.
We stayed there for a moment just looking at the frogs jumping on and off the lotto leaves.
“They say it’s good luck,” he said out of the blue. “The frogs,” he added, pointing at them.
“I don’t believe in good luck, especially after today my friend.”
“Make a wish, come on!”
“Leave me alone, you are a kid,” I said, pushing him a little and smiling.
“Ahh, yes I am but I made you laugh.”
“I merely smiled. And it won’t happen again,” said I, playing to be the most serious samurai alive.
“Well, enough for making my day,” he said and smiled.
His eyes were bright and lit up by the small piece of the moon that shone now white and up. I keep looking him in the eye. I almost couldn’t believe that even before a certain death he would be so childishly happy.
“It’s all we have,” said.
“What?”
“Now is all we’ve got. I couldn’t imagine a better way of spending my last day here but with my most cherished friend, rival and brother. This is just another gift of the great life we have shared. And tomorrow will be the last chapter for one of us, but what is a chapter in a life full of adventures?”
I hugged him for the first time with all the strength that my arms and honor allowed me to and he hugged me back; and that was my biggest gift.
“Now, make your wish,” he said, letting me go and making me face the pond.
“Ok, I wish…”
“Never make a wish aloud” he whispered. “You never know who might be listening,” he said and disappeared into the night while I stayed there looking at the reflection of the moon in a now frogless pond.
I came back before the sunrise and spent my last hours paying tribute with Usami to the goddess to open the path. I prayed for the wellbeing and survival of all my loved ones, those from our house and Murasaki 氏.
The sun found me and all the other warriors with our battle armors and swords ready. I was standing in front of the village next to Usami and thanked her for being at my side and making ours a great journey.
“If I don’t…”
“I will endure and this house will remain timeless as guardian of the memory of our ancestors and ours. This I promise to you Aku.”
“My ancestors and I thank you,” I said with a great bow of gratitude before leaving.
Hai and I, both followed for our clans, meet in the forest right where the borders and egos of our lords collided. There, the two messengers from our respective lords were waiting for us. They had to be certain that our houses would stand for each lord’s honor.
“Here by the orders of our Lord…”
“Lets, cut the crap” I said, shushing the lord’s messenger.
“You know Aku, that you could be charged with disloyalty just for what you have…,” tried to say the messenger.
“I don’t care,” I interrupted him again. “You two are here just to witness the battle in the name of our lord’s honor since they have no apparent interest in being here either. We are here to fight, not to talk. I think too many words have been said already.”
Haio just made a reverence with his head. We both retired and I looked at him smile for the last time while he was taking position among his men.
The battle was short and we won our lord’s honor back. A couple of other houses defeated in some nearby parts of the border were enough for the lord of Ado to withdraw and stop the nonsense. Shortly after he was removed and replaced with a substitute lord ‘better aligned’ with the best interest of the emperor. And not much was ever known or said about him.
But for me that had been the end of it all. I did not die at the hands of any of the other samurai that day. Even Haio couldn’t raise his katana mastery above mine for the encounter, and as in many other opportunities our perfect dance ended with the gods in my favor. At least that is what I would have said in any other context, in any other part of the country and against any other samurai, but there was no winner in that battle. And despite ensuring my house survival I couldn’t go further.
I held him close to my chest once the sword had done what she was crafted for. I didn’t let him touch the ground though; not alone. I fell on my knees and gently guided his way into the other side as we both rested among the evergreen pines. He had given it all. He fought with all his strengths and passion. That is how much he respected our bond. He didn’t hold back and neither did I. Destiny gave me more years to practice and just the perfectly clear moment to end our time. I heard the moment his soul left his body, it was like a ‘whoosh’ in the wind and I knew then that we were made of the same fiber and even part of the same nameless thing.
“I honor our encounters and the chance to live the same life. Let’s go now somewhere else where we might not be bound by oaths against love.”
I kissed his forehead and there, on my knees, took the same knife that he had guarded since we were just kids playing in the fields and cut my ハラ releasing all my vital force to the earth and freeing my soul too.
“Maybe if we departed together we would meet sooner.”
With love, to my forever brother.
